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The C Word

I always tell friends if they’re scared about an upcoming event that something awesome is likely about to happen. The thing is, those magical life changing events usually don’t come without significant change. And with change comes fear.

When we bought the Goodship, we had no truck to tow it. When we finally found a truck to tow it, we had nowhere to park them. As my lease at my apartment was ending, and we still had no land to live on, just in the nick of time we received an email from someone with the perfect spot for us.

Everything fell into place. Frankly, it was shocking how perfect everything went. It’s in the depth of those moments of paralyzing fear and endless agonizing that you watch the pieces of the puzzle come together, and your eyes finally open. Everything fell into place because we are on the correct path. I’m not quite sure where it leads but I’m stoked about the adventure!

Shortly after moving on to the Goodship, I had a long phone conversation with my Dad who, incidentally, lived clear across the country. We started discussing the Goodship and our plans for the future. He then proceeded to tell me that unbeknownst to me, I was living his and his father’s dream. He almost gushed with pride for a brief moment and he stumbled over his words. It was the only time I’ve ever heard or seen him cry.

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Little did I know that less than a year after that conversation he would be gone suddenly. It doesn’t seem so sudden in hindsight, but we all feel like our parents are invincible no matter how old we get. Before he left he gave me a tremendous gift. He told me he was proud of me. He showed raw emotion for the first time in my life. He also made me realize I was born with gypsy blood and it alllllll makes sense now! It goes down as the best conversation I have ever had with him in my life. I can replay it perfectly in my head to this day and I’m so grateful for that.

When he passed I inherited a small piece of land in North Carolina that he bought decades ago for retirement. But he never retired. On the land sits an old rusted out trailer full of missed opportunity and broken dreams. He never stopped working long enough to travel or truly enjoy life (in my humble opinion), and that in itself reminds me that I’m on the right path. This is what he wanted for me all along.

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Dad didn’t want any sort of memorial when he died, and honestly,  I’ve had a really difficult time with closure because of it. He was afraid to fly and he never traveled. So, I’ve decided I’m going to take his ashes on an epic road trip from our base in Los Angeles to his land in North Carolina. It’s where he wanted to be and I’m going to make sure he rests where he belonged many, many years ago. Maybe it would have saved him. Maybe it will save me.

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Moral of the story? Change is scary but if you pay attention to the little clues life gives you, you’ll see that the answer is right in front of you. I assure you, selling all of my belongings and taking the leap into full-time RV life was nothing short of petrifying. It is also the single most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life next to raising my son.

I leave you with this.